I'm tired of people being mean to each other online
it drives me insane and breaks my heart.
people think that because they're behind a keyboard and can't see the other person's face, they're given free reign to write things that they would think twice about saying in person.
people think themselves as administers of justice, when no one has given them such a job, that they take it upon themselves to disrupt others' personal lives over something they said ten years ago or that was taken out of context or that was only meant to stay private. the sense of entitlement to others' most intimate lives, the feeling that they deserve to stick their noses in places where they have no place, pushes these people to harass and intrude where they were not invited.
people think that because they can say something, they should, no matter what.
instead of scrolling on, verbal venom is spat.
instead of agreeing to disagree, divides are built.
instead of love, pride runs the hearts of these online spaces, just as it did when sin first entered the world.
it's one of the main reasons I stopped using social media altogether.
dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) has been instrumental in helping me avoid the pitfalls that end up so becoming of this hostile atmosphere online. it allows for gray areas, multiple possibilities, and the reversal of emotionally-charged conclusions. in DBT, two things can be true at the same time.
I can disagree with you and still love you.
we can have different perspectives and still be close friends.
someone can have done bad things and be a better person in the present.
someone can be a pillar of virtue and still fall into vice.
I can love myself as I am and still recognize there is room for growth.
I feel that those who spend a lot of time online (like I did in my late teens/early 20s) can get really sucked into this black-and-white thinking. it's really easy for people of the same mindset to gather together and bolster each other's perspectives. this can be a good thing, of course! but when you spend all of your time in the spaces where everyone agrees with you and doesn't challenge you... then where is the growth? where are the alternative perspectives? where is the chance to see the world a different way? where is the chance to offer someone else a different view of life?
of course, this is not a call to simply throw all of your sincerely held beliefs out the window and endorse everything you come across. it's also not saying that you have to be okay with negativity or harmful ideologies. that's falling yet again into the all-or-nothing thinking we want to avoid. no, it's simply having the ability to have an open heart and mind about what your fellow human beings are or can be.
reality is not black and white. gray areas abound.
the human heart is prone to getting it wrong. that's why I don't look to the world for what is right and wrong, but God, from whom we have objective truth and objective morality.
I find that Jesus's proclamation of the greatest commandments to be an antidote to the rampant hostility I see online:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:37-40; RSV-CE)
whenever I think about how to respond to someone's wrongs, or a disagreement, I think to myself "what would be the most loving way to respond?" sometimes the answer isn't so obvious. in these moments, I have to turn to prayer, or the doctrine of the Catholic Church, or the Bible, or to the writings of the saints. sometimes the answer is to nod my head and stay silent. sometimes the answer is to pray for the other person's conversion of heart. sometimes the answer is praying for justice but recognizing that it's not my place to make sure it's carried out, but God's. sometimes the answer is to offer feedback and letting the other person do what they will with it, knowing that I can only control myself and not others. sometimes the answer is to do nothing at all.
my heart is being formed day by day. getting off of social media has made it easier to recognize the inherent dignity in every human being. I still stumble, of course, as a sinner does. but I'm trying my best to see the world through the lens of God and not through my fallen nature.
after all, there is still a human being, loved and valued by God, behind that screen.